Fetishes. Everyone has them. We know you have them, and you can be certain that the women you have sex with will have them too. Fetishes are common, but they can also be tricky. Your fetishes may turn off some women and some women may be downright afraid of them, but that doesn’t mean you should just ignore what you like. Open-minded women may be willing to explore your fetishes with you, even the strange ones. But sometimes simply telling her what you’re into just won’t do. Sometimes you have to take certain steps to introduce a woman to your fetishes, so that she knows exactly what to expect and how it will affect you.
Bring Up Fetishes in General and Gauge Her Natural Reaction
When you’re ready to start talking about your fetishes, one of the worst things you can do is try to lure her into them without ever speaking about it, especially if you have uncommon fetishes. Start by casually bringing up a common fetish and see how she responds to it. Get her talking. Ask her if she has any experience with fetishes and convince her to share some of her own. When she does, offer to act out some of her fetishes with her. Keep an open-mind about her fetishes because you’re going to want her to keep an open-mind about yours.
When you’re acting out her fetishes, remember to communicate with her. When you don’t like something, let her know, but don’t scream at her. If you want, you can even come up with a safe word similar to the safe words used in BSDM relationships. If you decide to go with a safe word, make sure you both know and agree on the word beforehand. If she has a few fetishes, start by acting out the ones you’re most comfortable with and work your way up if that’s what you want. We are sure that you’ll tell her when you don’t like something and also be sure to tell her when you do like something. Let her know how good she’s making you feel, which in turn will give her confidence and will continue to further open her mind.
When It’s Your Turn to Introduce Your Fetishes
Since you let her go first, she already knows how the whole fetish thing works. Now is the time to start talking about your fetishes. Tell her what you like, but also tell her why you like it and how it affects you. She’ll remember how considerate you were of her fetishes and she will want to return the favor. Just like you did with her, work your way up from your more common fetishes to your more extreme ones. Don’t try to act out all of your fetishes in one night. Take your time and continue to communicate about them. Don’t forget to remind her to use the safe word if she’s uncomfortable.
If you tell her about one of your fetishes and she seems uninterested or turned off, don’t push her, and don’t nag her about it. Keep your focus on the fetishes that she’s okay with and try asking for others at a later time.