Beyond the One Night Stand
Let’s be honest: as men, when we engage in one night of sex, we’re not looking for commitment. We’re looking for a diversion and an encounter we can shamelessly move past. These reasons are what cast the one night stand in such a villainous light (especially with some of the ladies). But a night of what you had hoped would be a no strings attached, glorious sexual encounter can sometimes have a surprise end result: you actually are interested in pursuing a relationship after the sex is over.
Men aren’t the only ones who like the one night stand for the convenient sexual diversion it offers. Many women enjoy a one-time hook-up for exactly the same reason. This is where things can get tricky, especially if you find yourself wanting to spend more time in the company of the woman in question. The morning after is the most difficult part of a one night hook-up to navigate. Extricating yourself without a messy “Can I call you? Will you call me?” exchange isn’t always possible. Picture the roles reversed: morning comes, you wake up next to a woman that gave you the ride (or two, or three) of your life, and you find that your first instinct isn’t to bolt. Instead, you feel a curious inclination to maybe spend more time in her company. Now she wakes up, but instead of indulging in the pillow talk you’d hoped for, she does what you’d usually do and beats a hasty retreat. If you’re considering taking a relationship beyond a onetime sexual encounter, just keep in mind that maybe she was just looking for sex too, and isn’t interested in anything more.
Build Some History
Starting a relationship with a one night stand as a point of origin means you don’t have a history to build on. You skipped all the dates and conversations and started up with sex. And while no one is saying sex isn’t a fantastic foundation for a relationship, it can’t be the only one. If you’re genuinely interested in a woman after sleeping with her, you’ll need to work on building all the history you missed out on. Start dating, engage in discussions, learn about what she likes (aside from having sex with you), and what she doesn’t like. Just because you’ve already slept together doesn’t mean the magic is gone. In fact, learning more and more about what turns her on and gives her the best orgasms can lead to even better sex. Add to that the fact that you’re working on creating a healthy romantic relationship, and things will be looking pretty good.
Make Some Adjustments
If you met this amazing woman through your tried and true ritual of the one night stand, you’re obviously going to have to make some adjustments and alter your behaviour so that it’s more suited to a relationship. For example, if the two of you head out for drinks, it’s no longer kosher for you to visually acknowledge the fantastic curves of the waitress. It’s also not okay to flirt with other women, which should go without saying. If you’re seriously interested in spending time with this woman, you need to realize that your days of hooking up and moving on are over. From this point on, she’s the one you care about, spend time with, and sleep with.