Deal Breakers: What Flaws are Too Far?
No one’s perfect, but sometimes a woman’s flaws are like the bright red dots on the backs of poison dart frogs: they mean back off. There are things that you should stick to, and things that you need to avoid if you want to keep your life happy. There are some flaws that should be a deal breaker even if she’s a supermodel.
Mental Health Issues
Sometimes things like OCD or anxiety and nervousness in crowds can seem like they’re not big deals. They’re quirky and cute, and just little flaws that you should learn to deal with because you’re such a modern and understanding guy. Really, ask yourself. Are you’re willing for this to be a big thing in your life forever? A mental health issues doesn’t just dominate her life, it will dominate yours if you stay with her. She just can’t help it.
Don’t assume that her problems are going to be fixed with love. If she was in a steady and caring relationship, she wouldn’t be depressed, etc. These are all lies. Most of these disorders are either the direct result of some trauma in her past, or they’re a chemical imbalance in her brain. They’re not going away, and you should come to terms with that if you can. If you’re not into being her rock in a sea of depression, bi-polar disorder, or other mental health issues, then you should move on for both your sakes.
Annoying Voice/Laugh/Sex Sounds
On a lighter note, you should be aware that the noises she makes are more than likely going to be the noises she always makes, from here to eternity. An annoying laugh now is going to be unbearable five months from now, so if you can’t stand the way she giggles when you tell a joke, it’s time to ditch her. The same is true of irritating sex noises, and if she’s got an accent or voice that you don’t like.
You may think that you can tough it out, ignore these things abut her, and still have fun. It’s possible, but what you really need to ask yourself is if you want to spend a large portion of all the time that you will ever spend with her making yourself okay that her voice sounds like she’s the product of an eagle’s voicebox getting sewn on a donkey’s lungs. It’s just not worth it; let her go and find a woman who doesn’t make you wince when she talks or moans your name.
If debt is a way of life for her, don’t assume that all she needs is a little budget counseling and she’ll be fine. If she’s into living paycheck to paycheck and swimming in debt, that’s not something you can help her with. She has to change that on her own, and you definitely do not want to ever combine finances with her if she has to use a credit card to pick up an extra pencil. Steer clear.
Remember, not every flaw in someone is a test of your character that you need to overcome to find true love. There are some flaws that mean you have to end the relationship for the sake of your own sanity. Don’t apologize for these, just cut your losses so that you can both move on.