How-To: Discuss a One-Night Stand
For many men, the hardest thing about finding no-strings-attached sex is in talking about it.
We’re raised to be polite, after all, and it just seems odd to talk about the sex that may or may not happen before you even meet up with a woman. However, this is something that can really raise the level of your one-night stands, which is a great reason to start.
A woman will also be much more secure about meeting a man that she’s spoken to about a liaison before it happens. You want her to be confident, because that means she’ll be much less nervous.
The conversation will help both of you.
Even if you think you know what you’re doing when it comes to this woman, you’re still going to want to have this talk before you meet up in person. It will put both of you at ease, and probably get both of you more excited for the night ahead.
Don’t be afraid to ask for some kinks.
You shouldn’t demand that she do anything she’s not comfortable with, of course. That doesn’t mean you can’t ask. You’re on a hookup site, after all. This is the time to ask for something that’s not exactly middle-of-the-road, although it’s not mandatory.
You might be surprised. The woman you’re about to hook up with probably hasn’t had all that much time to experiment, since dating is just as hard for women in Canada as it is for men. She might be more than willing to experiment with your kinks.
She might have some of her own.
This shouldn’t be a huge surprise. Women like sex just as much as men. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be any successful hookup sites. However, she might not have had much experience with expressing her kinks. Make sure she feels safe sharing them with you and you might be shocked at the kind of stuff she wants to try.
Unless it puts you in some kind of danger or it really turns you off, don’t be afraid to go along with the things she suggests, even if they’re different from your own kinks. If you do, she’ll be a lot more likely to go along with the ones you suggest in turn.
You don’t have to map out every detail.
There are some things that can definitely be left to the imagination or that can be left to develop organically in bed. You can always leave some of your kinks until then, if you don’t feel that they’re entirely necessary in order for you to have a good time.
However, it is better for both you and for the woman you’re seeing if you both know what you’re walking into. These women are on these sites to have a good time, not to try and accommodate sexual fantasies. Don’t spring anything on her that you’re not at least reasonably confident she’ll enjoy.
Don’t whine about a rejection.
If the woman you’re going to meet up with doesn’t want to take part in your kinks, she doesn’t want to take part. Either have sex without them, or move on to a different woman. Those are your choices. Begging and whining isn’t going to help you.